On December 30th, 2008, I blogged about my diagnosis of depression. It has been two weeks since I began taking the medication that I was prescribed, and they do seem to be kicking in. Though it takes about four weeks to feel the full effect, I am feeling a bit better.
During the second week, things seemed to be looking up a bit. I did have a real rough time yesterday and the day before, though. Here is a small bit of what I wrote about it on my family MySpace blog:
Do you ever feel as though you are sinking into an abyss and you just can’t seem to swim back up to the surface? What is that called?
Before going on this depression medication, I was feeling like I was ready cry at the drop of a hat every day, all day. It was horrible. I felt this weight on my shoulders, this impending sense of doom every second. This doom I had been feeling since about July.
Last week, likely due to the meds. I was starting to feel okay. I didn’t feel like crying all the time, and the sense of doom was gone. I was okay, but not great. Just…better. But it felt good. Last week was the best week that I had had in months. I had hope.
As you can tell, I was having a real tough time for a couple of days. The reason why I felt so bad after beginning to feel better was that I lost my job. Well, I am still providing childcare during school vacations, and should be doing so part-full time by April, but I still have to worry about January-March. I had been told a week ago that I had a full time child until April, only to find out otherwise a couple of days ago.
Now, you would think that I would still be miserable, but I am not – exactly. I feel badly about the situation, but I was not the one to blame for it. I have enough money to pay this, and most of next, months bills. And I know that I will be earning a little more to go toward next months. So I am not completely destitute yet.
Two weeks ago, this would have crushed me and I wouldn’t have been able to pull myself up from it. Today I am okay. Not great, but okay.
So the medications is beginning to work.
I am on the right track, looking for more work. Doing what I am supposed to be doing. And not dwelling, too much.
I am doing a bit better.
P.S. Please feel free to share your depression experiences.
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