Jun

20

A Few Simple Rules…For Dating a (Single) Mom

Posted by singlemom

June 20, 2009 |

The Orlando Sentinel featured an article called A Few Simple Rules…For Dating a Mom on June 10, 2009. The article was written by Katie Powalski, and was a very good read.

I would like to mention my own dating rules here:

1.   Don’t be late! My last boyfriend (and the reason why I am now on sabbatical) was always late. I have little patience, and would like to get into bed for the night at and early hour. Therefore, I need someone who is going to be here when he says he will be here. I also believe in showing respect for people, and being late is completely disrespectful.

2. Don’t cancel at the last minute! I have a friend who is getting to know a man. The man has canceled on her twice at the the last minute. Men, women do not like this. It takes us time to get everything done before a date, find a babysitter, feed the children, shower and get ready to be with you. Respect that by not canceling on us.

3. Don’t expect to have sex with me after our first date. This is not likely to happen. I have more respect for myself than that, even if you don’t. I am not looking for a quick roll in the hay, and I do not have time for games.

4. Don’t expect to meet my children right off. If I don’t know you, I won’t be introducing you for a while. This is our time to get to know each other. In this way, I can determine if you are good enough for my children. If I decide that you are not good enough to be introduced to them, then you are not good enough to be with me.

5. I have children living in my home, so you will not be sleeping over. Once we get to know each other, and you have met my children, I will consider letting you spend the night when my children are sleeping else where. We will continue down this path until I am comfortable having you around my children, and they are comfortable having you around them.

6. When you finally do get to meet my children, do not try to be their parent. You are not. You will only make us all uncomfortable.

7. Put the technology away. Hang out with me and, later, my children. You are not really with me if you are texting or talking to someone else.

8. I am not your maid. You will be picking up after yourself.

9. When you start hanging out in my home, I do expect you to begin helping out by picking up after yourself and offering to fix little things that may be broken. If you start showering and eating here, you will help by paying for your share of the food, soap and shampoo. When you start staying often, you will help with the bills. Why? Because I am a single mother. I do not have enough money to support you.

10. Do not act like you know everything. Do not act like my children, my friends, my family and myself know nothing.

11. Don’t act like a “cool dude.” You are just a person like the rest of us.

12. Do not try to con me, my children, my friends and family. It will backfire. I know this because it has been attempted a few times already. I will dump you without a second thought if I feel conned in any way. Be authentic. Be real.

There you have it. My list of rules so far. I reserve the right to edit, delete or add to this list at any time.

Shannon

PS: Single moms, what are your dating rules? Please share with us in the comments.


Comments

2 Comments so far

  1. Amira on June 24, 2009 1:57 am

    Those are some good ones. Some of mine are the same.

    What would I add? Be a man–not a guy. The world has enough “guys”.

  2. singlemom on June 29, 2009 12:51 pm

    I agree.

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